Why are all Quora moderators Satan?

I wished, my A2A’er and True Quora Master Scott Welch, to give you a well-informed theologically-based answer to this question.

So I googled: “Satan does not”. Because there’s a lot of things that Quora moderation does not do.

I got this from the Agape Geek blog as my first Google hit: Six Things Satan Doesn’t Want You To Know About Himself

And freakily enough, the Agape Geek’s Evangelical description of Satan has several eerie touchpoints with Quora Moderation:

1. Satan DOES NOT Want You To Know That He Exists

2. Satan DOES NOT Want You To Know How He Operates

3. Satan DOES NOT Want You to Know that He Can’t Be Everywhere At Once

4. Satan DOES NOT Want You To Know That His Time Is Short

5. Satan DOES NOT Want You To Know He Was Defeated

6. Satan DOES NOT Want You To Know That You Have Authority Over Him

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OK:

1. Quora Moderation DOES NOT Want You To Know That It Exists.
   Chrys Jordan’s answer to What if Quora were a country? Keyword: Cryptocracy.
2. Quora Moderation DOES NOT Want You To Know How It Operates.
   Chrys Jordan’s answer to What if Quora were a country? Keyword: Cryptocracy.
3. Quora Moderation DOES NOT Want You to Know that It Can’t Be Everywhere At Once.
   Quora Moderation is (hypothetically) having trouble keeping up with violations. Quora Moderation can’t (hypothetically) be everywhere at once. Which is why YOU WILL GET DINGED FOR VIOLATIONS TWO YEARS AFTER YOUR OFFENCE. Does Quora Moderation have a statute of limitations on policy violations? And if not should they?
4. Quora Moderation DOES NOT Want You To Know That Its Time Is Short
   Quora Moderation does not want you to know how long its current arrangements will persist, until it’s too late! Hah! Just as people got the surprise notice about the end of community moderation! Or of the Elimination of Topic-Based Moderation by Jay Wacker on Quora Product Updates! Quora Moderation will keep you GUESSING! PRAISE JESUS!
5. Quora Moderation DOES NOT Want You To Know It Was Defeated
   Nonsense! Heresy! Quora Moderation has never been defeated! Quora Moderation has never had to bring anyone back to life twice, like Steven de Guzman! That’s why QUORA MODERATION NEVER APOLOGISES! EVER! MINE EYES HAVE SEEN THE GLORY! HALLELUJAH!
6. Quora Moderation DOES NOT Want You To Know That You Have Authority Over It
   Quora Moderation does not want you to know that you have ANY AUTHORITY AT ALL! You will respect QUORA’S AUTHORITAH! YOU WILL NOT QUESTION QUORA’S AUTHORITAH! That’s why all your moderation appeals are belong to DEV/NULL! AND SO INTO THE DEPTHS OF PERDITION!

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CAN I GET AN AY-MEN?!

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It’s a plausible theory, OP. Good work there.

3 Comments

• John Cowan says:

  October 29, 2017 at 5:05 am

  If the saints are pluripresent (but not omnipresent), then surely angels are too, and if angels, then Satan, for falling did not change his nature.

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  • opoudjis says:

    October 29, 2017 at 11:18 am

    So where did the original get “3. Satan DOES NOT Want You to Know that He Can’t Be Everywhere At Once” from?

    Ah, the untutored absolutes of Evangelicals. 🙂

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    • John Cowan says:

      November 1, 2017 at 1:44 am

      “Ignorance, sheer ignorance.” —Sam: Johnson asked why he defined pastern as ‘the knee of a horse’

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